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Poems by Faith Rosling

PUBLISHED: 00:16 08 February 2011 | UPDATED: 20:37 20 February 2013

'The Delights of Gardening', 'The Makeover', 'Packaging Nightmares' and more...

The Delights of Gardening



The day is fine , the forecast's good


What about the garden, perhaps I should


The lawn resembles a field of hay


It could certainly do with a cut today


Down the path, unlock the shed


I must attack the old rose bed


It,s full of weeds and greenfly too


Oh lord, there,s blackspot, now that,s new.


I,ll need the wheelbarrow for when I mow


And what about that rusty hoe?


I,ve pulled and tugged, the machine won,t start


This can,t be good for my ageing heart


I,ll give it a rest and try again soon


It,s got to work this afternoon


Oh help, It,s all a bit of a mess


This gardening can,t be good for stress


And now that I,m kneeling on the ground


I think I,,ve heard a dreaded sound


The doorbell pings,I,ll have to go


But getting up is oh so slow,


I rush to the door breath in fist


But whoever was there, I jolly well missed.


The compost heap,s got quite a load


But it is the home of Mr Toad


Will he stay and croak to me


No, he leapfrogs off to find his tea.


The mower roars ,a welcome sound


At this rate I,ll soon get round.


I might have known it was too good to last,


It,s stopped again, Oh damn and blast


I really think I,ve done enough


Ifind this gardening far too tough,


So now I,ll stop and call it a day


And the grass can go on making hay.



Faith Rosling Copyright 2010



The Makeover



I must get my haircut, Ill ring up today,


Its out of control and gone Its own way.


Lately I feel Ive been going to seed


A makeover is probably just what I need.


What if I were able to lose some weight?


I,m getting on perhaps its too late


These miracle creams are marvellous they say


They take years off you in less than a day.


Facelifts yes, but there is a down


Youll hardly smile , let alone frown.


Nail extensions, how do they stay on?


Washing up- oh God where have they all gone.


What about jogging ,thats supposed to be good


But really for me no I dont think I should.


Health Farms maybe that,s just the thing


But they also come with a nasty sting


Carrot juice is all that youll get


Apart from being deeply in debt.


Oh dear what else is there that I can do


To make myself as good as new.


I could go on a diet and give up drinking


But thats pretty miserable to my way of thinking.


I really have tried to think of a way


To improve my image, but I reallymust say


I dont think Ill bother, Its really too silly,


You cant change an old mare into a filly!



Copyright Faith Rosling 2010



Packaging Nightmares



Modern Packaging maybe all the rage


But when you get to our distinguished age


It drives you mad to find that you


Cannot open or unscrew


A mass of things that Theyve designed


To drive you clear out of your mind.


Have you ever managed a sardine tin?


I get splattered in oil, I never win.


Sellotape and cling film,wonderful they may be


But to find the end ,rather you than me.


Plastic bags a modern blight


Theyre really better out of sight.


Packets of biscuits are very sweet


Its something we all like to eat


Once youve fought to get them open


Theres hardly one thats not been broken.


Crisps you pull open with a pop


Onto the floor theyre sure to drop


The dog will happily get them first


And youre left holding the bag thats burst.


The Postmans left a parcel, a rather curious shape


But heavens ,its covered in masses of sticky brown tape


Im cutting and Im tugging,I really want to see


What gorgeous, lovely, exciting things someones sent to me.


But now I begin to wonder if I will ever know


As getting into the blessed thing is proving very slow.


Sometimes I think screw topped jars really should be banned


Theyre screwed on so jolly tight, designed to hurt your hand.


Fizzy drinks bottles are just that


The top flies off, whoosh ,fizz, onto the floor splat !


So your gin and tonic , becomes , tonic with gin,


What a really glorious state to be in.


So is this packaging here to stay


To test our patience day by day?


So if inspiration comes to you


And you find a better way thats new


To package all these things we buy


The nation will breathe a thankful sigh.



Copyright Faith Rosling 2010



A walk through the woods



Weve found a lovely place to stay


So Ive decided to go for a walk today


The countryside looks so inviting


Ill go and explore,itll be exciting.


Ive walked through fields and sloshed through streams


The weather is perfect the stuff of dreams.


Up a hill and through a wood


Im really happy and feeling good.


Now I think Id better turn back


But a sense of direction is something I lack,


Which track to take ? I really dont know


I wish I knew the right way to go.


The horse in the field, I ask him which way?


But hes no help, he only says neigh


Why did I have to come on my own


Im truly lost, I might have known.


My mobile phone Ive left behind


And theres not a single path thats signed.


Is this the path through the wood


This must be the spot where I stood


So I take the path amongst the trees


Its terribly boggy, Im up to my knees.


I should have worn boots but its too late now,


The next thing I know Im face to face with a cow


She looks at me with long lashed eyes,


And moos keep going youll have a surprise


Shes right, oh joy what do I see


A sign for the village Ill be back for tea.


Faith Rosling Copyright 2011



I only asked her to come to tea



I only asked her to come to tea


But now she insists shes staying with me


Her suitcase on the step is vast


She certainly has enough to last.


I dread how long her stay will be


I suppose Id better make some tea.


She never was a bosom friend


Shes going to drive me round the bend


Ill have to get the spare room ready


My jangling nerves are far from steady.


Id bought myself just one lamb chop


Its too late now to go out and shop.


Oh thats fine, says she, that will do me


Youll be alright you had a big tea.


She snored so loud the whole house shook,


I couldnt sleep I read a book.


The next day dawned she was down at eight


Her breakfast piled high on her plate


Shed drunk all the milk and finished the toast


I really dont feel like a generous host.


I know if I dont get rid of her soon


Ill be certified by this afternoon


She says she wants to buy some clothes


I thought shed got enough of those.


So off she drags me to shop after shop,


Weve been to so many Im ready to drop.


And when its time for her to pay


What on earth is that I hear her say


Ive left my credit card at home


Youll have to help me with a loan


She does not take kindly to my reply


As she now finds that she cannot buy


All the clothes that shes tried on


And says its time that she was gone


And finds it very hard to see


Why on earth she came to stay with me!



Faith Rosling Copyright 2010



Memories



I found the old house again today


We moved out six years ago in May


It stands there empty and forlorn


Lonely and unloved this misty morn


Itried the door it was unlocked


I almost felt I should have knocked


The hall with sweeping stair on either side


It was a magic place to hide


Those summer balls ,we danced all night


Then watched as dawn became daylight


Those dancing feet still seem so near


Is that the sound of silk I hear?


The beautiful garden is overgrown


It is where happiness was sown


The rambling roses now in trees entwined


Like the tangled memories of my mind.



Faith Rosling Copyright 2010

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